Why am I so tired?

(And how can I fix it?)

I am someone who loves September. It must be neurologically wired into me after all those years of new pencil cases and school bags, but around this time of year I usually get a surge of new energy, enthusiasm and hope.

So it has been a little disappointing this year to find myself slow and sluggish, struggling to keep the balls in the air, and noticing how easily I get overwhelmed by small things.

I am not alone. It seems like everyone around me at the moment is struggling with the normal demands of this time of year. ‘ I just can’t get myself going’, a friend shared, ‘and I am tired ALL the time. What is wrong with me?’

What’s wrong is that it is really only now that we are beginning to notice and feel the emotional and mental ‘hang-over’ from 18 months of disrupted living. What that looks like is a lot of symptoms appearing in our bodies (muscle or joint pain, headaches, digestive issues, disrupted sleep patterns ), in our minds (foggy thinking, poor concentration, easily distracted, slower processing) and in our emotions (more tearful, easily tipped into anger, small anxieties having a bigger hold, disconnection in relationship). And lots and lots of tiredness.

What can we do when we feel so ‘done’? Well, I have no magic wand but here are a few suggestions for helping ourselves in this tricky place….

My best advice for a first step is to just take a moment to ask that part of us that is kicking our butts for how we are doing, telling us we are weak, failing, not coping, not good enough, to take a step back. Then, if we can, to invite a softer part forward - one that has some kindness and compassion for how hard we are finding things right now. 

Sometimes when I can’t find this part easily, I think of how I would respond to a friend or a child who was feeling this way. I would remind them that we have used up all of our resources in the last 18months in coping, and it’s OK to find the tank is empty, it’s OK to lay some things down. Letting myself acknowledge that this is a normal response to all we have experienced.

In short; less judgement, more compassion for self and an agreement that the answer is NOT just to dig deeper, push ourselves harder, pull our socks up.

(As a side note, I think we can extend this compassion to others too. No-one is being their best self right now, everyone is struggling. So we don’t need to take other people’s behaviour personally and we might even cut them some slack as we do that for ourselves.)

What else…?

Lighten the load 

Do less ‘shoulds’ and ‘musts’ where you can. Put off that new activity for your kid that will have you running around in the car, give yourself longer deadlines on work tasks where you can, don’t use the little energy you have on things that you don’t absolutely have to. That may mean a different stance in some friendships too. Liberal use of the word ‘no’. People-pleasers, I hear ya, this sends you into a melt down but you cannot do it all without then becoming useless, not just for yourself but for everybody you are trying to please.

Take some actions 

This is a hard one. With so much lethargy and fatigue in can be hard to want to or find the energy to do anything. I’ve been going for leverage here: low energy cost actions that get me big results. So that might look like…..

…..getting a cup of tea, a piece of paper and a pen, and sitting for 5 quiet minutes (parents: this may mean locking yourself in the shed or bathroom) and making a few lists that give me a sense of (or the illusion of) control over my world. Errands/ chores/groceries but also programmes/podcasts/books/people to reach for that would do me good.

Get Outside

Head over to the science page if you need some proof of how much good this can do you but suffice to say just walking in a green space for a little while gives a multitude of benefits for soul, body and mind. For free. No side effects, except possibly muddy shoes. This is a great time of year to do a spot of foraging - blackberries, elderberries, haws and hips are all ready to be picked and made into all kinds of delicious foodstuffs or natural remedies. It’s an incredibly mindful activity: bringing us into a state of curiosity, slowing our pace, engaging all of the senses and a giving a sense of triumph and pleasure as we bring our hoard home.

You aren’t alone in your overwhelm and fatigue. What else have you found that helps right now? Put in a comment below and share your wisdom with us.