All done with Self-Care

I’ve been a big believer in self care for years. From my own mental health crisis as a young mum to the beginning of my career as a therapist, self care was a non-negotiable: a key ingredient in mental wellbeing.

But I notice that it has slowly disappeared from my vocabulary, both in my therapy room and for myself.

‘Self-care’ has become a victim of its own success; a word so over-used that it’s become the answer to everything but lost its capacity to really help us.

It’s not that I no longer believe we should do things to look after ourselves. Far from it. The problem is that our culture’s idea of self-care has been set up completely wrong, the cart before the horse, and this means we are unlikely to get the good benefits we have been promised from it.

Self care is often understood as taking an action for ourselves, usually something we enjoy or think will do us good. Maybe that’s a walk outside, or a bath, meeting up with friends or getting nails done. All good things. But what we often miss out is the really crucial step before taking the action and that is the internal work of meeting ourselves.

What does this mean, to meet ourselves?

That can be as simple as taking a little time to reflect on how we are managing life, what’s working, what’s not; noticing how our body feels, thinking about the quality of our rest, our relationships. Asking questions like: when was the last time I felt really good? What am I finding hard to give myself permission for?

When we have done that then we can start to work out what actions are really going to nourish and help us feel good, with a much higher chance of them working.

It can be easier, much easier, to book the massage, have the Netflix night, go to the salon than to turn inwards first and reflect on what’s working/not working in life, tuning in to how we really feel about parts of our lives, meeting ourselves as we are. But time and time again in myself, my clients and Rooted Project participants this true inner work of self care can make all the difference to not just surviving but thriving in life.

It is the internal work that gets us to the right external action.

The Rooted Project is all about accompanying and guiding you through this internal work to the right actions. It’s both gentle and deep, creative and practical.

For more information about The Rooted Project, have a look here.